For decades, I harboured anger and bitterness in my heart towards my father. He hurt me all my life since I was a child till now, I am in my 30s he still torments me. Here I was as an adult relieving in my past pain and hurt that had distorted my esteem and perspective about life. After going through therapy for 3 months, I finally decided to forgive my father. Not that he has changed nor is he sorry about all he has subjected me to but because I needed to be free from the chains that had held me captive for so long. Chains that had deprived me of true happiness as every time I thought of him, saw him or anything that reminded of my dad, anger, pain would engulf me and my mood would completely change. I do not want to live like that anymore. I know I cannot erase the memories, but I can free myself and live in the moment from now henceforth. Live my life to the fullest. It took me so long to understand that my dad was projecting the pain and hurt he felt inside on me. Therapy has helped me view my father from a different perspective and realise that he was deeply wounded as well. I know it may not have been easy for him to live with so much pain. I revisited my father’s life history and I realised he also went through so much that left him wounded. I now clearly see that hurt people hurt others. Since I forgave him, I feel free and peaceful that it surprises me. I can control myself in ways I couldn’t in the past. I can extend compassion and empathy to him for I know he lives in pain and I know how it feels to live in pain. I get to embark on a journey to restore my self-esteem and care for my wounded inner child. I pray my father lives long but most importantly, I hope he gets to heal from his deep wounds and pain that he lives in and ends up projecting on me and my family. Father wounds can cut deeply but forgiveness can set you free. It’s not easy to forgive but it’s possible.
